Without borders.

   We had another week of government protests/shut-downs. Today was the last day of four in a row. Cue in the "Cabin fever" dance number from Muppet Treasure Island. A few days ago Shannon "discovered" multiple new worship songs-one of which was "Oceans" by Hillsong UNITED. This song has now become my song for the week and probably for the whole trip. I have always wanted to have a theme song. If I were artsy-fartsy I would make an epic photo collage of my time here to this song that would move people to tears.

At the last house in this country before crossing the border.

   The two lines that resonate deepest are "Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders" and "take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior." I find it interesting that often in worship we, the church, can sing words without meaning or understanding them. I remember in high school when the song, "mighty to save" was a big deal I had a conversation with two of my friends who had moms battling breast cancer. They spoke of how when they sing "He is mighty to save," they believe the words and did not understand how someone could sing the lyrics without ever having trusted Jesus to move mountains in their lives. It would be like singing "brokenness is what I long for" without really wanting to be broken or allowing Christ to show you where you need to change. We sing songs because they are cool or have great beat or because they sound "super spiritual." What would happen if the words we sang with such feeling came true? For me this song defines my current life.

The border.

Jesus led me to this country where the people, the culture, the language, the clothing, the weather and the food are not mine. My schedule has not worked out the way I had planned or thought that it would go. I have been isolated, lonely, hurt, discouraged and oppressed. Praise the Lord that these things are temporary. My heart for my brothers and especially my sisters is broken that some of these things are their normal. When I come home, I do not know how I will support myself, what my life plan is, or if I will die alone with cats. The beautiful thing is that for the first time in my relationship with Jesus my trust is truly without borders. He has taken me WAY farther than I could have wandered, but all so that I am at a place where it does not matter what happens tomorrow or in January. He has me in the palm of His hand and He wrote out my story before He created light, the stars, the animals and the first people. The fact remains that even though this trip has brought me to places that I never wanted to go and has been a constant spiritual battle I would go out again if He asked me because I trust Him. Where He leads I will follow.

 Picnic spot.

I am dependent on internet.

   My past two weeks have consisted of protests, shut-downs, power outages and no Internet. I had never thought of myself as being one of those "she has to have Internet to survive" type of people. In America, my phone is not attached to the end of my arm and I do not check on things while eating or conversing with people. Here, my phone/Internet has become my coping mechanism. When I get stressed or culturally overwhelmed I check Twitter. Besides giving me an opportunity to do something mindless for a bit I need the Internet to do my research. I had such high expectations for the week that I would meet a certain deadline in my research, but with all the issues I am not likely to meet that deadline.

    I did not realize how unmet expectations can affect me...or any person. Think of the last time you had an expectation, big or small. Did you think a family dinner would be one way? The meeting would go well? You would get to all your errands completed in that one day. BOOM. Life happens and the kids argue during dinner, nobody comes to a consensus during the meeting or Sally forgot to bring the coffee, and due to traffic you only got to half of your errands. How do we cope? I like to think that I am flexible and appreciate the change in direction because it is what God had planned. That I embrace the change. Nope. This week I have cried a lot. All because my small expectation of having Internet was not met for a few days. On Monday we did not have power from 5am until 3pm.
I did not realize that I had even made Internet an expectation.

Science experiment!

   The power is now working and obviously I finally have Internet, but I am still working on having "realistic" expectations-whatever that means. I do not feel that power is too unrealistic, but this is South Asia.

   I will no longer be able to go to the slums or parlor. The current government instability have kept me from going and after looking through my schedule with all the protest days and other plans we felt that the Lord was closing that door. I am okay about it because I did not have a chance to really get to know the people and I was still able to get some research done.

 We made home-made caramel for our Fall festival.

   The parlor is another story. While I was in Dhaka my local partner, Anna, went to the parlor to take the woman who became a Christian to be baptized. When Ruth went to ask for permission to leave the older brother of one of the other women came down the stairs and yelled at Anna. He insulted her faith, her education, and her dignity. Anna did well and got him to cool down after a bit, but he was unrelenting. In order for Ruth to get baptized she has to have his permission. He did not give it. Ruth has an interesting and sad back ground story that I will tell when I get home. Basically, this man has power over her even thought they are not blood or marriage related because of cultural matters.

 I designed a candy scavenger hunt for the kids.

   Anna left the parlor and reassured Ruth that she would return to encourage her. This Sunday Anna and I went back to the parlor and were met with coolness. The women who normally chat excitedly with us ignored us, the little boy that I have bonded with was shooed away from me and Ruth barely spoke to us. Ruth wanted to talk with us, but apparently the brother has them in fear of mingling with us. Praise the Lord that Ruth and Anna have phones and have been communicating that way. Ruth said that she knows that Jesus is with her and that she is a Christian. It was hard for me to leave that place knowing that I may not see them again. I may be able to take my mom when she comes, but nothing will be as it was before. The women, besides Ruth, have been lied to and manipulated. My heart breaks for my friends. I will miss them.

  It is no wonder that when Jesus walked this Earth that he was followed by the oppressed and poor. They see their need for him immediately while the rich and educated do not see their immediate need for a Savior. Jesus came to seek and save the lost and I am getting a clearer picture of what that looks like. Ruth saw her need for Jesus because she has no real home or family. Jesus has now become her home and fellow believers her family.

My main duties here are helping out with school and compiling my research. I still have a bible study with a local that I love and Anna and I go to another parlor. It is crazy to think of how the schedule has changed so much. We are all eager to come home for the holidays. Kathy has started packing and I am almost done Christmas shopping.